Banner Rotate



Logo by Julian Spanos

Antitheistic. Long. Perplexing. Offensive. Whatever.

Warning: This blog does not cater to your whims. If you are offended, then I am not obliged to care. It ain't personal until otherwise stated.

Random Quotes

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Parody: St. Patrick's Gay Parade – Mayor de Blasio's Political Wet Dream

Disclaimer: The following is sheer spoof and parody so don't get your panties in a bunch; treat it as a purely rude-humoured, fictitious spin on reality.

Anyone hear about New York mayor, Bill de Blasio, finding himself between a rock and a hard place? It's hard to tell who is the rock and the hard place between the religious sensibilities of the St. Patrick's Day Parade crew and the ostracised, but throbbingly outspoken gay community, who are presently banned by an anti-gay policy at the parade. It would seem that one thing is clear for the progressive minded mayor; he's having an exceedingly tense time bringing all the sides together, in fact, he himself has kind of boycotted the parade, which means that he clearly has a greater hard-on for one side over the other. So the Mayor still has his work ahead of him if he wants to bring all parties to bed... or the table, either will do, apparently.

Reaching out to both sides, literally. Get a  grip,
man... Oh, sorry, you already got that covered.
Mayor de Balsio is presently looking for a means to resolve this matter to realise his ideal vision of New York as a progressive hub, or even a cultural melting pot of modernity. Some have suggested that he could host a Village People parade to counteract the St. Patrick's Day parade, but that would be too obvious, and then he would likely piss off the art community for lacking a taste for 'subtlety' and the city of sex and... uh, cities, can't have that now, can it? That last thing Mr. de Balsio would want for his political legacy would be the act of simultaneously, and single-handedly, alienating both the drama queens and queers of Big Apple.

Sources close to the Mayor do report that he's involved in some PR project planning that entails a list of proposals aimed at resolving this matter and bringing both sides together for a nice, warm—possibly moist—huddle. As it stands, rather firmly so, people openly expressing gay ideals or identities are not allowed at the parade. While a stern policy, this simply requires a work around. Now imagine for a moment, if they made catholic priests a regular feature of the parade? Perhaps even gave them a nice convent-style float.

A PR agency representative, who has had close dealings with Mayor de Balsio's office, informs us that this would be the ultimate trump card for the Mayor, as it would allow both the gay and paedophilic communities an instant access to the St. Patrick's Day parade while paying a rather meaningful, historical and culturally apt homage to the Catholic ethos. After all, nothing's a bolder hat tip—circumcised or otherwise—to the audacity of the Catholic theological identity crisis than the repressed homosexuality and its by-product of deviant child molestation that has become modus operandi for a sizeable number of the Catholic clergy.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

this is very offensive. shame on you beelzebub

Kade Storm said...

And you're very bored.

Diana said...

It was a positive conversation and each day since then he has made an effort to come and speak to her about his success of the day.
www.travelersrvreno.com |

Diana said...

Thanks for any other informative site. The place else could I get that kind of info written in such a perfect manner? I have a mission that I am simply now running on, and I've been at the look out for such info.
unisprachkurse |

abby said...

Mate this is a very nice blog here. I wanted to comment & say that I enjoyed reading your posts & they are all very well written out. You make blogging look easy lol I’ll attemp to start a blog later today and I hope it’s half as good as your blog! Much success to you!
http://www.housesineastoxford.com |

marly said...

Hi there, its pleasant article about media print, we all understand media is a fantastic source of information.
http://www.autoacross.com |

Ambercarl123 said...

It is
really a nice and useful piece of information. I am glad that you shared this
helpful information with us. Please stay us up to date like this. Thank you
for sharing.

auto-satisfait.com
|

Ashley said...

A good informative post that you have shared and appreciate your work for sharing the information.
www.webfilmschools.com |

Ambercarl123 said...

Took me
time to read all the comments, but I really enjoyed the article. It proved to
be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenters here! It�s always
nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained!

kentbusinessclinic.com
|

samianisar said...

I have
not much time to visit many websites. But today I found this site accidently.
I explored much information which is useful to my life. Thanks!
Leeds Business
Centers
|

abbibarclay said...

Hi,this
is AIZAH. I am actual page rank Backlinks provider,I am giving the warranty
that all links are powerful and ranked your site with a days.
http://www.seattlesbestcars.com