Moment of Madness: Just read!

I’ve played many games of the mind in the past, and by that, I don’t mean games of aptitude and academic value. I speak simply of fucking with peoples heads, fucking with my own head, watching them fuck up one another good, and then even having them fuck with my head.

This is why it pisses me off sometimes to determine or judge on how someone should be, or should feel, when really, I have no precedent over the matter. Who the fuck am I to say make such conjectures, right? So in spirit of this newfound wisdom, which I’m probably going to lose within a few hours, I’m going to deal with a bit of an issue through a dark twisted piece of lyrical poetry!

There’s something pending, in my name, and I must procure the results. Of course, it’s a matter of winning and loosing in my case, but something tells me I’ll be more empty after the whole ordeal, regardless of the outcome.

And now I know where I stand, so I shall embrace this dark epiphany head on!

Victory in defeat,
And defeat in victory,
My mind’s own deceit,
Perpetuating this misery.

Defined by numbers,
As I watch the frail egos collapse,
Defined by numbers,
Watching their neurosis relapse!

Have I really achieved triumphant glory,
Or have I really just come out empty,
Unable to save those that really needed to be saved in this story,
Now the shadows of deceit hunt me as their quarry!

Fuckin’ blog smogs of my own mind,
Machinations of the archetypical devil’s design,
I always command ‘em to fuck off to the abode of their kind,
But that really just means the core of my own twisted mind!

It was time for tings to be changed,
Switching around those ancient tables,
The cerebral game rearranged,
A new dynamic but within the same fables!

Yes, welcome aboard - come to me my dears,
You’ve taught me a great lesson,
Stalking and then drowning me in your ocean of crimson tears!

By occupying my vessel time and time again!
Probing the sentimental voids as my hindering bane!
Leaving me deluded in the vain!

So now I welcome thee back into my void!
Only this time, I’ve consumed you for my bidding!
Now I’m the designated stalker deployed!

Once I was yours, and now you are mine!
A role reversing dynamic of the slave master paradigm!

I may’ve suffered defeat in victory!
But now the mistress of darkness is my trophy!
So have I gotten victory out of defeat?
None but I shall caress the underlying truth to that riddle, for now it’s my game of deceit!

Defeat in victory,
Victory in defeat,
I am the fucking sadist, now in firm possession of his misery!
Triumphing and concealing my morale’s defeat with tantalising deceit!

Fuck this sincerity and contemplation; my smoking mirrors will dispel all mortal despair!
Venturing through smog murk and overwhelming temperature to get home to my nightmare!
The very nightmare, that either haunts me, or daunts my enemies; whatever, baby, I couldn’t care!
Eighth and final circle of hell, you wonder? Hah! My throne lies far beyond the devil’s lair!

Ha!

Ha! Ha!

Ha! Ha! Ha!

HAH! HAH!

Later, fuckers!

- Kade

URGENT VENT: FUCK THE CLOUDS!

Yes, that is fucking it for me: I hate this rain! I just fucking hate the rain!

I mean, I am all for combating droughts and shit, but this is ridiculous. These randomly ludicrous bouts of rain, all the fucking time, are starting to overwhelm my nerves! FUCKING HELL! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF GETTING SOAKED! AND NO, I REFUSE TO USE AN UMBRELLA!

"Well, it's your fault then!" -- Common criticism.

FUCK YOU, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! DAMN RIGHT IT IS! BUT THAT WON'T STOP ME FROM BITCHING ABOUT RAIN!

It's like the heavens are taking a piss on me, and enjoying every moment of it; I don't wish to be urinated on by a pack of mischeivious angels!

"Hey! Piss on that lanky punk! It'll be cool!" -- Angel.

"Cut that out, you fuckin' fairy!" -- My response.

"Mwahahahaha! Fuck no!" *PSSHHHH* "Say my name, bitch!" -- Angel.

I don't need to be showered with your fucking water, oh clouds; it's cold, and you fuck me up in ways that I don't enjoy analysing for the sake of my own sanity. If I wanted to feel cold, like shit, in utter dim dampness and despair, and perhaps even a tad bit violated, then I would've found a way to get into prison!

Fucking hell! WET. ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME.

FUAAAAAAACK!

- Kade

An epic day of 'tale' proportions! WHAT?!

Yesterday was one hell of a weird day for me!

I mean, it was a tale of good versus evil. A tale of triumph against insurmountable odds. A tale of humour and entertainment amidst the utterly mundane. A tale of excitement being derived from physical agony and distress. A tale of chaos and battle. A tale of going against one’s very natural inclinations. A tale of deceit and deception gone horribly wrong. A tale of pain and romance. The whole mother-fuckin’-load, baby!

So it all began with yet another outing with my ‘saner’ friends - my colleagues. Heh, nice bunch of people, so diligently looking out for one another, and attempting to establish ‘connections’. I guess it would be a better world if more people gave a shit like that, but whatever. I joined in, since I am in for a long and twisted weekend! I decided to join ‘em in, thinking that in lieu of a so-called relaxing outing, we’ll end up in some sort of (mis)adventure. No, I was merely offering moral support. I won’t say any more, because excessively personal opinions and reflections suck ass, and one, or two, or three of them might end up reading this. Therefore, I’ll shut up.

The voices inside my head had a good go at me! Most of the voices told me to just get out and do my own thing; solo-act of wandering about, and then warming up inside some pub. Then, my inexplicable inclinations made me succumb to the outing, instead. Fuckin’ amazing! And here I thought I was the archetypically stubborn person. UNCHARACTERISTICALLY ODD SHIT - CHECK!

Worse yet, through out this scenario, it was raining cats and dogs just hours after my hour-plus shower! I HATE GETTING WET! If I needed another shower, I’d have stayed at home and remained in the bathroom for another hour.

I played along with the routine, and had the ambivalent experience of some mundane settings, coupled with interesting company and conversations. Hey, I even got this one person with unrivalled silence abilities, which she claims is only a ’shyness’ issue, to actually ask me a question for once! Fuckity! Anyway, then the people decided that the mundane was too mundane for them, and they wanted to head off elsewhere; another one of those parties. As a matter of fact, very much the same kinda’ party, by the same kinda’ people, but in a slightly different venue. AMUSEMENT IN MUNDANE - CHECK!

I didn’t mind the idea of going, but there was something in the back of my mind that kept pushing me in another direction, that and the fact that pretty much everyone received news of this ’party’ with the exception of me. And if anyone knows Kade, even a little bit, they’d know that he loathes being the uninvited third wheel! Regardless, both elements were going against me! I mean, as much as I like to play the ‘outsider’ as Dan so aptly puts it, sometimes, it also pisses me off, because I am not the kind of person who likes to cling along when he's not convinced of being invited. Seriously, if some of you can relate, then just picture the idea of everyone and their dog receiving the invitation, with the exception of you; would you feel appropriate crashing the party uninvited? Heh. TRIUMPH - CHECK! Basically, the evil--my ego--beat the good--my colleagues. Then again, maybe I always hail the victor as 'evil'.
These chain of events left me playing the game halfway as I suddenly segregated myself from the group, and begged my leave under pretence of having to be somewhere else; we parted ways as I headed off to my filthy haven up north. I was thinking of meeting up with a friend, but instead of doing that, I began to prowl the city on my own. Yes, so my little ‘pretence’ now turned into a lie, which I’d say was nothing more than a fucking fib, to be honest. DECEIT - CHECK! I’ll own up to it, not like they lose much anyway! They were going to a fuckin’ party, for fuck’s sake! Do the maths - it was cool.

That’s when the unexpected occurred. Now, everyone knows that I am a tough person to approach, by virtue of my own nature, and the inherent ignorance and bigotry of even the most so-called open-minded people. I mean, I belong to a very specific ‘genre’--or sub-culture--of people, and only such people have the balls to approach me on a completely sporadic impulse. So I was at the tube-station, waiting for the last train that I needed in order to go where I needed to be. . . on my fucking own! Suddenly, a complete stranger, apparently not one of ‘my genre’, approached me. We had the quirkiest conversation, ever. The guy was very forthcoming; asked me how long it took me to grow my fuckin’ chin goatee! I was fuckin’ amazed! Because for once, I had someone to relate to, as I explained to him how slowly my facial hair grows, and how abnormally long it took me to get a solid chin-goatee, while my friend‘s younger brother got something better within a measly six-months. Ah, but the primary surprise remained highlighted in the fact that this stranger showed me some balls and did not reserve his friendly-nature, which by itself is a concept of myth in modern times. I mean, aside from like four of my colleagues, most of the 'friendly people' take months daring to lower their guard around me, so it was a sociological phenomenon for me to absorb. Now this stranger and I talked about goatees, hair, since he’s been trying his hand at growing both but not having much luck. We even touched on the subject of dying hair, and what a bitch bleaching can be, including how I pity the fools that colour their hair. Anyway, it was an interesting experience, and then we parted ways; I guess that’s the last time I’ll ever see the dude, but hey, even a few minutes of interaction that somehow challenges my general judgement of reality is a worthwhile experience to remember. Yeah, that dude was alright! UNEXPECTED PLEASANTRY - FUCKIN’ CHECK!

So, is that it? Fuck no! Because the really unexpected happened as I got ambushed by a big, huge drunk! It was raining, yet again, and the roads were virtually empty, and that's when I heard this massive, "Oi, yo!" a creepy opener before the drunk revealed himself. And the schematics of the drunk - fuck! This guy had a huge height advantage as well as being a big-man. But he learned that disgrace is a guaranteed outcome when he'll mess with the Super Sleek Sexy Snake, Kade, because I triumph over fat-drunks! Chaos/Battle/Triumph (A couple of bruised ribs) - CHECK! No seriously, this is not cool. Fighting is not healthy, or productive - avoid it when possible. I mean, I didn’t fight the guy; I just had luck on my side. I was prepared to suffer major injury at that point because this guy was ‘huge’. I just got, very lucky.

"Ah! You so had it coming! Someone finally tried to give it to you! Ha! Ha! Ha!" -- Some might be thinking.

"Fuck you! Fuck you! And... Yeah, fuck you! No. The guy was fucking drunk. I didn't know him. Furthermore, as much as I antagonise some, those very few know fullwell that I'm... You know... Not a nasty fucker. No, really, I am not. Fuck, believe what you will." -- My general response, because I am already getting such feedback now; apparently, in the good judgement of a sordid few, I deserve such an outcome to my nights.

Note: The backdrop to this fight was even more rain! Fuckity fuck! There, I just had my third shower within a six-hour-window! Not to mention, another one that’ll not be too far off as I was near my dominion - my personal hell, which I relish and loathe for two very opposing reasons.

Oh, and what about romance? Bahahahaha! Even -IF- there was any, why the fuck would I tell? Friggin’ idiots. It’s a marketing ploy, and I win. Made you read! Bahahahahaha! If I missed anything else, then just attribute that to hyperbole, because you’d be rigid fuckers to do otherwise; look up the news channels and supplement your consciences with yet another news of kidnappings in the ever so successful Iraq--then dies the sarcasm. (Okay, perhaps I do deserve some mild form of beating at this point.)

Anyway, it was quite a day, and I’m fucked up good now. So yeah, I’ll post some shit later. For now, I must medicate before I decide to rip one of my ribs out.

Stay cool, fuckers!

Cheers,
Kade