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Antitheistic. Long. Perplexing. Offensive. Whatever.

Warning: This blog does not cater to your whims. If you are offended, then I am not obliged to care. It ain't personal until otherwise stated.

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Saturday, March 03, 2007

An epic day of 'tale' proportions! WHAT?!

Yesterday was one hell of a weird day for me!

I mean, it was a tale of good versus evil. A tale of triumph against insurmountable odds. A tale of humour and entertainment amidst the utterly mundane. A tale of excitement being derived from physical agony and distress. A tale of chaos and battle. A tale of going against one’s very natural inclinations. A tale of deceit and deception gone horribly wrong. A tale of pain and romance. The whole mother-fuckin’-load, baby!

So it all began with yet another outing with my ‘saner’ friends - my colleagues. Heh, nice bunch of people, so diligently looking out for one another, and attempting to establish ‘connections’. I guess it would be a better world if more people gave a shit like that, but whatever. I joined in, since I am in for a long and twisted weekend! I decided to join ‘em in, thinking that in lieu of a so-called relaxing outing, we’ll end up in some sort of (mis)adventure. No, I was merely offering moral support. I won’t say any more, because excessively personal opinions and reflections suck ass, and one, or two, or three of them might end up reading this. Therefore, I’ll shut up.

The voices inside my head had a good go at me! Most of the voices told me to just get out and do my own thing; solo-act of wandering about, and then warming up inside some pub. Then, my inexplicable inclinations made me succumb to the outing, instead. Fuckin’ amazing! And here I thought I was the archetypically stubborn person. UNCHARACTERISTICALLY ODD SHIT - CHECK!

Worse yet, through out this scenario, it was raining cats and dogs just hours after my hour-plus shower! I HATE GETTING WET! If I needed another shower, I’d have stayed at home and remained in the bathroom for another hour.

I played along with the routine, and had the ambivalent experience of some mundane settings, coupled with interesting company and conversations. Hey, I even got this one person with unrivalled silence abilities, which she claims is only a ’shyness’ issue, to actually ask me a question for once! Fuckity! Anyway, then the people decided that the mundane was too mundane for them, and they wanted to head off elsewhere; another one of those parties. As a matter of fact, very much the same kinda’ party, by the same kinda’ people, but in a slightly different venue. AMUSEMENT IN MUNDANE - CHECK!

I didn’t mind the idea of going, but there was something in the back of my mind that kept pushing me in another direction, that and the fact that pretty much everyone received news of this ’party’ with the exception of me. And if anyone knows Kade, even a little bit, they’d know that he loathes being the uninvited third wheel! Regardless, both elements were going against me! I mean, as much as I like to play the ‘outsider’ as Dan so aptly puts it, sometimes, it also pisses me off, because I am not the kind of person who likes to cling along when he's not convinced of being invited. Seriously, if some of you can relate, then just picture the idea of everyone and their dog receiving the invitation, with the exception of you; would you feel appropriate crashing the party uninvited? Heh. TRIUMPH - CHECK! Basically, the evil--my ego--beat the good--my colleagues. Then again, maybe I always hail the victor as 'evil'.
These chain of events left me playing the game halfway as I suddenly segregated myself from the group, and begged my leave under pretence of having to be somewhere else; we parted ways as I headed off to my filthy haven up north. I was thinking of meeting up with a friend, but instead of doing that, I began to prowl the city on my own. Yes, so my little ‘pretence’ now turned into a lie, which I’d say was nothing more than a fucking fib, to be honest. DECEIT - CHECK! I’ll own up to it, not like they lose much anyway! They were going to a fuckin’ party, for fuck’s sake! Do the maths - it was cool.

That’s when the unexpected occurred. Now, everyone knows that I am a tough person to approach, by virtue of my own nature, and the inherent ignorance and bigotry of even the most so-called open-minded people. I mean, I belong to a very specific ‘genre’--or sub-culture--of people, and only such people have the balls to approach me on a completely sporadic impulse. So I was at the tube-station, waiting for the last train that I needed in order to go where I needed to be. . . on my fucking own! Suddenly, a complete stranger, apparently not one of ‘my genre’, approached me. We had the quirkiest conversation, ever. The guy was very forthcoming; asked me how long it took me to grow my fuckin’ chin goatee! I was fuckin’ amazed! Because for once, I had someone to relate to, as I explained to him how slowly my facial hair grows, and how abnormally long it took me to get a solid chin-goatee, while my friend‘s younger brother got something better within a measly six-months. Ah, but the primary surprise remained highlighted in the fact that this stranger showed me some balls and did not reserve his friendly-nature, which by itself is a concept of myth in modern times. I mean, aside from like four of my colleagues, most of the 'friendly people' take months daring to lower their guard around me, so it was a sociological phenomenon for me to absorb. Now this stranger and I talked about goatees, hair, since he’s been trying his hand at growing both but not having much luck. We even touched on the subject of dying hair, and what a bitch bleaching can be, including how I pity the fools that colour their hair. Anyway, it was an interesting experience, and then we parted ways; I guess that’s the last time I’ll ever see the dude, but hey, even a few minutes of interaction that somehow challenges my general judgement of reality is a worthwhile experience to remember. Yeah, that dude was alright! UNEXPECTED PLEASANTRY - FUCKIN’ CHECK!

So, is that it? Fuck no! Because the really unexpected happened as I got ambushed by a big, huge drunk! It was raining, yet again, and the roads were virtually empty, and that's when I heard this massive, "Oi, yo!" a creepy opener before the drunk revealed himself. And the schematics of the drunk - fuck! This guy had a huge height advantage as well as being a big-man. But he learned that disgrace is a guaranteed outcome when he'll mess with the Super Sleek Sexy Snake, Kade, because I triumph over fat-drunks! Chaos/Battle/Triumph (A couple of bruised ribs) - CHECK! No seriously, this is not cool. Fighting is not healthy, or productive - avoid it when possible. I mean, I didn’t fight the guy; I just had luck on my side. I was prepared to suffer major injury at that point because this guy was ‘huge’. I just got, very lucky.

"Ah! You so had it coming! Someone finally tried to give it to you! Ha! Ha! Ha!" -- Some might be thinking.

"Fuck you! Fuck you! And... Yeah, fuck you! No. The guy was fucking drunk. I didn't know him. Furthermore, as much as I antagonise some, those very few know fullwell that I'm... You know... Not a nasty fucker. No, really, I am not. Fuck, believe what you will." -- My general response, because I am already getting such feedback now; apparently, in the good judgement of a sordid few, I deserve such an outcome to my nights.

Note: The backdrop to this fight was even more rain! Fuckity fuck! There, I just had my third shower within a six-hour-window! Not to mention, another one that’ll not be too far off as I was near my dominion - my personal hell, which I relish and loathe for two very opposing reasons.

Oh, and what about romance? Bahahahaha! Even -IF- there was any, why the fuck would I tell? Friggin’ idiots. It’s a marketing ploy, and I win. Made you read! Bahahahahaha! If I missed anything else, then just attribute that to hyperbole, because you’d be rigid fuckers to do otherwise; look up the news channels and supplement your consciences with yet another news of kidnappings in the ever so successful Iraq--then dies the sarcasm. (Okay, perhaps I do deserve some mild form of beating at this point.)

Anyway, it was quite a day, and I’m fucked up good now. So yeah, I’ll post some shit later. For now, I must medicate before I decide to rip one of my ribs out.

Stay cool, fuckers!

Cheers,
Kade

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