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Logo by Julian Spanos

Antitheistic. Long. Perplexing. Offensive. Whatever.

Warning: This blog does not cater to your whims. If you are offended, then I am not obliged to care. It ain't personal until otherwise stated.

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Monday, April 24, 2006

...fauxy!

Today’s piece is rather interesting. You see, fuckers, I’ve been watching many of my pro-humanity colleagues, and even old friends living in the United States, ranting on and on about the journalistic absurdity that is Fox News - or as they like to call it, Faux News. Now, I’ve watched Faux err, Fox News in the past; I just never got subjected to the channel at that level as most of the American residents. Therefore, just for the kicks, and the challenge, I decided to actually watch Faux news… err Fox News, rather than restricting myself to the O’ Reilly Factor, which I do for the mere kicks.

I have to be honest, the first couple of days were just hilarious; I actually derived good laughs from hearing the blatantly passive partisan commentaries, poorly packaged in a see-through gift-wrapping of professional, and neutral journalism. It’s really, amusing to watch a child play pretend, in the same respect it’s amusing to watch a political propaganda of a news channel, also play pretend.

Now, by the third-day, I actually found myself watering in the eyes, and completely loosing my perspective on reality. Others started noticing strange anomalies in my behaviour; some claimed that I was getting edgy; agitated; disoriented; snapping at random intervals. Fuck, if I was just a few more notches to the edge, I’d be clinically psychotic; whatever. I also realised that I was getting very irritated with Fox News, and was tempted to refer to it as Faux News, because it sounded more like a televised archive of editorial columns as opposed to actual, neutral news reporting.

“To my American friends - I am so sorry for not empathising more profoundly. I have learnt my lesson, first hand; I have endured the misery that you’ve all dubbed as Faux News, and I am in full agreement with this moniker.” - Immediate contention.

I had no idea, and the last exposure to Faux had me choking on the implications, or rather, ignorance of the implications of America’s international policies. War or no war, I know for a fact that some of these people, who rant about how Iraq’s latest political stability, is a premonition towards the security of the Americans, are nothing more than ignorant fucks, or just blatant deceivers, blowing lethal amounts of methane from their rear ends. Now, seriously, dudes, I fuckin’ hate theocracies; therefore, I still hate Iraq; it follows the same bill that had people like Abdul Rahman suffering in Afghanistan. So, I am really sorry, Americans, Iraq’s a political morass, and that’s just speaking on a strictly governmental stand-point; I don’t even wanna’ get into the social state of things. That country was officially downgraded from an autocratic, secular train wreck -- albeit, under the leadership of an immoral scum -- into a theocratic mush, which is destined for nothing short of transforming into a fuckin’ officious, Islam-o-fascist mire! And yes, if public persecution isn’t a worry; one has to worry about legal persecutions for exercising essential human rights. Republicans really need to get a reality check on this matter! You’re creating a fuckin’ breeding ground for religious fascism, in lieu of protecting yourselves from that very threat, get it? It’s really not too difficult a concept to comprehend; you just need to wake up from that linear neo-con dream of yours!

The additional point that I personally wanted to touch upon, is even more serious to me in certain respects. You see, I heard some former republican blah -- really, I couldn’t care after I heard what he had to say -- talk about American security, and how this war has improved that very security. What security are you talkin’ about, monkey? The fact that Americans are stereotyped and hated worldwide? Or maybe because I myself face heated contempt for my own American symptoms and passions? Perhaps, because I hear every single cockmuncher, from virtually every corner of this planet, denouncing Americans as a whole, because of their political agenda? Over and above all, because virtually ever American is under threat, while living in the east. Oh yeah, we got a lot of security going for the Americans. Fine, people in Europe just frown upon Americans in general, which is a shame, but still civil. What about all those people in the other, less-hospitable parts of the world, whose lives are under a permanent code-red status; constantly under the threat of fascist-prompted bigotry; the same fascism that is bred by Sharia based constitutions, such as the one in Iraq. This whole ordeal has done nothing more than drag America’s name through the mud, and further endanger the lives of actual, good natured Americans, across the world. Because you know what, when these blood hungry bastards commit their atrocious acts against Western bystanders, they then resort to the role of the apologist, and drag out their nation’s constitutional implications, and how the Sharia demands that they act like motherfuckin’ cocksuckers - justifying their cool-blooded homicides.

“How the fuck can you bastards endorse the same doctrine that serves to promote the endangering of most human beings, including most Americans, across the world! What the fuck is wrong with these people? Iraq is in a downward spiral; constitutions serve towards forging the mindsets of entire nations; and it’s not like the Iraq populace are already the biggest fans of American values, so why not add another officious religious bill into the stew to really get that fanatic nerve going! These morons are further endangering the lives of good Americans, world wide, while making counter claims. This isn’t funny, and this isn’t even faux, anymore! It’s just STUPID FUCKS, tripping on so much denial that it makes them worthy of a massive bitch slap! I am certainly not insinuating that it’s win-win, either way; my beef with faux sprouts from the fact that they’re trying to sell all this Iraqi gibberish as a total win, which is utter bullshit!” - Closure.






Stay cool, and stay aware, you crazy fuckers!

Later,
Kade

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