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Logo by Julian Spanos

Antitheistic. Long. Perplexing. Offensive. Whatever.

Warning: This blog does not cater to your whims. If you are offended, then I am not obliged to care. It ain't personal until otherwise stated.

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Sunday, April 30, 2006

Meritocracy - murdering the charm of education

There's so much stupidity going on these days that I find my libido stimulated beyond the norm; I could bite right through my own shoulder, pondering and tolerating some of this utterly useless nonsense. Individuality, and true subjectivity, getting trivialised; flawed and cosmetic nationalism on the rise. Restricted, and inconsistently constrained arguments being flooded from all sides and angles. Individual efforts and needs getting trivialised in the greater light of the majority, and its one stable constant: repeating the same follies.

Oh, and while we’re on the subject of systematically demeaning the capacity of each individual, let us also address this bondage that we all seem to have with competition in the field of education. What the fuck happened to the concept of actual education? It seems more like a game now, where one must earn the most points, or just forsake whatever the fuck he/she was studying, because oh look, that mark on the test sheet just nullified the entire effort.

“And most of us invest great time into wondering why school has started to suck for most students. We probed the issue of peer pressure and exceptional strain. Now, did we ever bother to actually address the nucleus of the issue?” - Immediate query.

Did we bother to realise that perhaps all these problems might be driven by the tension that stems from the constant competitive atmosphere; a plague perpetuated by the stress of having to fit in as the right fuckin’ number! Where the fuck did the most important aspect go: The knowledge that each of these beaten down bastards have harnessed during this game that is education? Oh yes, it was all minimised and eventually decimated over the fact that some marks and tests basically determined their stake on the competitive chart-table. Seriously, folks, education -- acquisition of actual knowledge has been regulated to a point of sterility, that you might as well declare it obsolete. This is not education; this is not a world where we’re motivating and inspiring individuals to enjoy the concept of adventurously acquiring wisdom! This, oh cynical people, is a fuckin’ game, and only the best matter! Fuck the rest, despite the fact that they did undergo the educational process; what really matters is the fact that they couldn’t hack it when it came to the sheer numbers and competitive merits.

What a load of shit! True scholarly knowledge is a lost cause; what use when you’re not good enough on the numbers scale. What good is any of this wisdom in a world where only numbers permit you to even piss a certain way. No, I am not endorsing some glorified anarchist idealism; certain professions and positions require hard-lined training, but being baptised in competitive morass? Please, spare me the bullshit!

“Okay, let’s see how we can make the entire idea of education a hell of a lot more unpleasant! Let’s subject them to linear - stressful tests, and competitive ranking! Let’s objectify them in a way that would diminish any potential self-esteem; let’s create blank-slates out of these droids. That should really deviate their focus from the appreciation of the learning process, onto either being the best, or becoming neurotic slobs. We’ll make ‘em study shit, and then bank all that on stringent tests with numbers and figures. Those that don’t pass can pretty much wallow in self-pity, without anything to show for the actual process of knowledge acquisition, simply because of a sporadic and controlled test. Oh yes, despite actually undergoing some kind of knowledge-grooming, we can have a bunch of numbers and tests completely demean the entire charm of the experience and journey. Oh, and in reality, even those that pass but don’t score high, can also pretty much join their failure counterparts, but under a cardboard consolidation that they still made it; not that it matters, because the upper tier of their competition has ‘em owned, anyway!” - Pearls of destructive wisdom.

Meritocracy? Please! Not when it completely minimises the entire charm and irrefutable relevance of knowledge-acquisition through shrewd competitiveness.

“There’s no knowledge that is a complete waste and obsolete! And no amounts of standardised testing and objectification can take away from that learning process. Humanity has turned into a horde of bitter, hungry, and competitively depressed hounds.” - My closure on the matter.

I am just sick of this shit; the charm of scholarly ventures is being raped and murdered under this mechanically competitive, and excessively regulated concept of sham-education. Another fruit of the human development procedure, being dumped in a basket that's headed off to hell.

“Someone fuckin’ stab me and wake me up from this ‘meritocratic’ nightmare! Or for that matter, someone fuckin’ stab me, and liberate me from this ‘meritocratic’ reality!” - Closing lament.

Later, you crazy fuckers.
-The cynical one!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Handheld stupidity!

Okay, videogame nerds, one more bitch-slap for you lot, courtesy of your friendly neighbourhood scourge, Kade.

It should be announced that I am not some sorta’ expert at video games, but I enjoy the casual bouts to alleviate my tension; it distracts me from other more serious issues, such as political nepotism; pathetic wars against issues, where the issues aren’t even addressed properly; hell, it even distracts me from the contempt for fascist religions and my personal anorexic disorders. Okay, perhaps I’ve delved in too much detail, but whatever.

Now, at the recommendation of some smart people, I decided to invest into the Nintendo DS (NDS); a consolw that's been repeatedly slammed for being “kiddie”, which rides on gimmick alone. Of course, this bitch-session is primarily concentrated around the PlayStation Portable (PSP) fan-persons. Apparently, these fanatics have taken it upon themselves to dedicate their feeble lives to denigrating the NDS; why they do this is anyone’s guess - I think it’s been motivated by complicated nightmares of NintenDogs, humping them silly, but others beg to differ by just declaring these fanatics, “an insidious bunch of snot-nose retards!” So I’d like to address this beef that the big-boys from Sony’s fan base, have with the success and popularity of the Nintendo DS. Perhaps some of their cheap slurs regarding the NDS could be easily interpreted as elements that backfire onto the PSP’s own reputation?

The PSP otakus claim that Nintendo DS is kiddie, especially with its large assortment of babyish titles; that whole colourful and bubbly veneer of titles seems to be the citation for such blustering claims. Right on, so one stint with a fuckin’ NintenDog has the PSP fans pretty much passing judgement on the entire concept? Oh, wait, perhaps they were also referring to Animal Crossing, and the Mario titles. Fine, so I am supposed to believe that these few titles pretty much condemn the potential and promise of an entire console? I think those that subscribe to such forms of NDS berating ploys, need to be committed to a drug rehabilitation programme, because they’ve clearly ingested too much of something toxic, out there. I managed to play Metroid prime, recently, and I don’t know about what these fuckers are smoking, because that game was anything but kiddie; fuckin’ hell, the title almost toppled its GameCube counterpart. So yeah, I think that whole belief that a very small group of titles cannot determine the general age-demographic for a console, is worthy of being considered accurate, especially in the context of the DS. I’ve even watched demos for Nanostray, and the legendary, Castlevania. So yeah, I ain’t gonna’ let a bunch of nimrods, high on a fuckin’ NintenDog, completely shaft the fate and potential of an entire console. Oh and of course, the PSP on the other hand, can get away with its mediocre FPS titles, and super-deformed Japanese RPGs that were better executed on the PlayStation One (PSOne).

This leaves us with the second, and last prong of the anti-NDS otakus stupefying contention: the NDS gimmicks. Oh, the evil gimmicks; damn those NintenDogs and their useless gimmicks; but oh, wait, are they really that useless? I’ve been hearing a lot of bitching about the second screen, which also happens to be a touch pad; what do you know - it’s actually fuckin’ awesome, and executed metroid prime with irrefutable excellence. Seriously, this so-called gimmick, could challenge the actual PC setup for the FPS genre. So yeah, I’d like to buy the anti-NDS otakus a dictionary, and shift their focus from the word “gimmick” to another, more accurate title that goes something like, “innovative”. Yeah, because that is exactly what the second screen-cum-touch pad is: an innovation in the hand-held genre; probably the first-time feature in a handheld console that realises FPS potential at a near-PC level, a feat, which even giants like XBOX and PS2 couldn’t entirely accomplish.

“Seriously, morons, look up the meaning of these words before slamming something down; just admit that you’re a bunch of whiney, intellectually compromised idiot-fucks, who just don’t get it! You don’t have to misuse and abuse the English vocabulary to justify your lack of understanding. No need to make frivolous contentions in order to rationalise your own irrationalities! Just admit that you're a fuckin' stupid jerk, and that you hate it because you don't don't get it; it'll make you feel a hell of a lot better about yourself!” - Urgent contention.

Now, allow King Storm to show you the real example of a gimmick, monkeys. You see, if I was to sport something feeble, like my body mass and extreme anorexia; and then claim that this gives me some kind of edge against a lightweight professional boxer, when it clearly has me compromised -- both physically, and psychologically -- then that could be considered somewhat, self-indulgent, unrealistic, impractical - a downright gimmick. Obviously, such a factor has no yieldable potential. So then, let’s say that in a hypothetical situation, more in context with the handheld gaming industry, I was to create a handheld console of my own. I add a radically large and extra wide screen with one of them 16:9 ratios; I chuck in all the fancy numbers into the concept, such as a very feeble resolution, that only shines in technical stats. Now, what if this screen was riddled with poor display qualities; frail makeup; a resolution-to-screen size optimisation that is virtually useless; terrible and heinous refresh-rates - that, you lil' fuckers, could be considered a gimmick. I got this completely pimped up feature, which is riddled with flaws, and its only appealing factor isn’t even able to standout. What do you know, folks, I think we got ourselves a very accurate example of a gimmick archetype; fuck yeah! And in case the allusion was missed; in my aforementioned example, I have pretty much summed up the description of another handheld console, whose dedicated fan base has been devoted to preaching the anti-NDS philosophy. Not that the poorly situated, linear analogue stick helps their cause, either - another utterly useless feature; I have to wonder, do these morons realise that the whole gimmick argument has just blown up in their own faces? They’re entitled to completely moronic arguments, but doesn’t even a trace amount of dignity and conscience kick in when they realise their own dedication to the same follies that they so explicitly denounce? Do they realise that while indulging in their gluttony, they’re actually devouring their own feet? Probably not, because the only gimmick that’s ongoing, is the fancy, yet equally flawed and disappointing nature of their own dogma of a console; that, and their dedication to dubbing NDS a gimmick console - the asinine notion being a fuckin’ gimmick in its own right.

“Get your heads out of your asses, Anti-NDS otakus! Your entire argument in itself, is a fuckin’ gimmick! And your dedication to a poor, and limited console that can’t even match up in terms of playability to the NDS, doesn’t help that entire gimmick angle, because it pretty much blows up in your own faces.” - Final resolution for the morons.

Oh, and in case the rest of you bastards wonder; do I think Metroid Prime could ever be implemented in its entirety on the PSP, with the full fledged control factor included? Fuck no! PSP has had its share of FPS titles; and those that try to emulate and integrate proper, advanced free-look features into their game-play, always suffer from serious critique, because it's virtually impossible for the poorly situated controls of the PSP to accommodate such a feature. On the other hand, the only FPS titles to score well on the PSP, usually lack the free-look feature for the larger part; leaving the players with an effectively watered down, shell of a true FPS that even a fuckin’ foetus could master. So yeah, dudes, jokes on you morons if you consider the NDS a gimmick in comparison to its Sony rival, which is by far, the epitome of all gimmicks; at least the NDS is living up to, and beyond the potential of its so-called gimmicks. While the NDS is innovating handheld gaming; the PSP’s the one with all the fancy numbers and features that seem to mean jack; giant screen with nothing but issues that could make a novice breakdown into tears; a friggin’ teddy bear’s button-eye for an analogue stick that is additionally positioned to uselessness; buttons that feel like beads and butter; construction that’s merely on par with a fuckin’ Oreo cookie! Seriously, dudes, who the fuck are you kiddin’? This entire console is an archive of every kind of cheap gimmick that the videogame industry could potentially shill out. Wanna’ learn how to make gimmicks? Study the PSP, inside out; you will not be disappointed in what you’ll manage to glean in order to achieve a new apex in cheap gimmick. The PSP is the fuckin’ holy grail of all gimmicks.

“Shame on the stupid fuckin’ anti-NDS cult! Getting all wound up because they’ve probably been having nightmares of NintenDogs, humping them silly! Insipid children, whining about things that they don’t even know about! They should just burry their heads right back in their asses; oh wait, they were already doing that! Well then, keep it up!” - Closure.

Additionally, from here on, I decree that we refer to the PSP as the “Gimmick Messiah Portable”; meanwhile, we can reserve the moniker of “Gimmick Messiah” for the PlayStation 3. Bahahaha!

Stay cool, and stay realistic; because nothing’s ever so simple, you crazy fuckers.

Later,
Kade

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Subjected to televised bullshit!

I find myself returning with a scathing rant; of course, my own ass is on such fire that I don’t think I’ll be able to contain myself on the matter. Now, I am assuming that most of you twits, know full well, just how much I despise organised religion. No, I don’t give a damn about the individual ideologies; I am merely referring to the end-result of all these so-called faiths that seem apparently deceive masses under the guise of very generic virtues, whilst clearly dividing them and allowing the four horsemen to prosper in their entirety. Seriously, it’s just the end result of divided egos; war, famine, pestilence, death, that are being aided through these ideological allegiances; it’s almost as though the so-called virtues that promote the public-appeal of these ideologies seize to exist in practice. Over and above all, I don’t have real issues with religion so much as I do with morons imposing their beliefs; that too in a very dictatorial manner. Anyhow, you morons should already know all this by now, and if you don’t, then perhaps you’re due for a “Dumb Ass” tattoo on your forehead.

Most of the people who supposedly know me, and interact with my nature, are fully aware of my views. These same individuals are also aware of my odd but well-articulated intolerance for certain things - certain, dogmas and cultures, if you will. You see, unlike the religious fanatics, if something bothers me, I detract to my own sanctum in order to filter the bullshit from my plane of existence. Yes, much like any other human being, things do bother me - I am intolerant, but I chose to back away from the bad stimulus rather than throw a fuckin’ tantrum, much like how a billion cocksuckers did over a fuckin’ cartoon. Whatever, they’re entitled to behave like retarded fucks, with additional autisms hindering any chance or capability for critical thought and achieving closure on matters in a civil manner.

“What the fuck am I getting at, again? Oh yeah! Talkin’ about morons who’re supposedly aware of my personality!” - Personal intervention, because I was branching off into another tired altogether.

I have certain acquaintances, who insist on beseech my company from time to time; oh, you had better believe it, for we do live in a crazy world, and Storm can be in demand. However, these people know full well that certain things will agitate me, and I will not even turn into your direction and spit on you if you even remotely succeed at agitating me. Now, what would someone who’d want my company do? Firstly, they’d probably wanna’ try avoiding subject matter that would piss me off; and I would assume that they’d have the remote - fundamental - essential - low-level intelligence to be able to decipher the obvious protocol. I mean, if I am trying to get someone’s company, I will have to ‘try’ rather than just demand and expect miraculous, and impractical shit to happen. Now, one particular nimrod, who I consider valuable in my existence, tends to piss me off with all of his/her stupidities; I really wonder if they’re drugged, sometimes, which is clearly not the case. This person knows how much I hate non-secular cultures, and organised religion; this person also insists on my company. This person also happens to be a television addict, which is cool, in my opinion. However, the shit this person watches, makes me wanna’ puke!

I consider the television, an organised version of human stupidity on a grand scale. Certain channels might have good shit happening; but for the larger part, garbage is being broadcast. I don’t have much against most garbage, but when I hear cheap, filthy, propagating tunes about religion, I will probably smash the television set or change the channel; both options unavailable to me in this situation, because I was in another person’s domain. This person knew full well how much this kinda’ bullshit irritates me; yet this person continues letting that bullshit blare away as I twitch my lips uncomfortably, in hopes of getting the point across. Of course, if the moron’s moronic enough to allow that heinous non-sense to continue blaring while meeting with me, then this person will most certainly lack the intelligence to read my facial expressions. I am usually left in ambivalence, when it comes to this person, because I consider this person a worthwhile individual who has helped me out. Unfortunately, this person can also behave like an inexplicable moron! Therefore, the moron didn’t get it, so I excused myself for a couple of moments, and never returned - probably the most awesome thing I’ve ever done.

As always, I remained committed to my premise, the television drivel pissed the crap out of me, so I chose to evade to my own personal space. If this moron, after knowing how much I despise certain bullshit, insists on blaring that bullshit and having me around -- bowel-wrenched uncomfortable -- then this person has major learning issues. I know for a fact that I shall be forced to answer for my abrupt departure; an explanation will be demanded, topped with contentions about how these meetings and my company are essential. This time, I shall offer no defence, because my scathe -- yes, my scathe -- will be nothing short of presenting the moron with a blatant articulation of my hatred for certain bullshit, followed by a choice. You see, I am pro-choice; the morons can have their morning cup of televised, esoteric bullshit; or, alternatively, they can have my company, which is one-hundred-percent incompatible with their poor choices and tastes in television programmes. I am not gonna’ subject myself to this bullshit of sharing my time, with people who supposedly know, and actually claim to appreciate my distaste for certain things, then demand that I share time with them while they watch those same things, and jam it down my own throat via the awesome power of their idiot-box.

“You wanna’ start a fuckin’ inquisition into my abrupt and unexpected departure? Wanna’ know why I left? Let’s pull on that thread, again. because for the millionth time - I fuckin’ hate that bullshit that you were watching so earnestly! Remember, I had expressed my blatant hatred for that garbage, just a day earlier! Now, I could understand the cognitive slip, if you were a fuckin’ goldfish! But y’know what, this whole act is starting to grow brittle and inconsistent. You try to pass yourself off as a human being, an intelligent human being who acknowledges and honours my sensitivity to certain issues! And yet you subject me to the same issues, while hanging your jaw like some vegetated, brain-dead shmuck who couldn‘t get a clue to save the world! Get a fuckin’ reality check! And learn to separate; you can‘t have your bath and play with the toaster at the same time! It just doesn’t work that way; and yes, fuckers, I am that incompatible with religious cultural programmes - it‘s like dropping the toasted in the tub while bathing. You can’t have it both ways; stop demanding my company and then questioning my quiet and unexpected departures, if you insist on fucking your brain with that garbage on the idiot tube, while also dousing me in the same bullshit - the very bullshit that I can‘t tolerate. You’re free to head-fuck yourselves to hell, but I’ll be damned if I join you in the asinine venture! Learn the fuckin’ concept! And if the basic learning can’t work out, then learn to fuckin’ chose! Otherwise, the toaster will drop in the tub, and then, you’re fucked, PERIOD!” - Closure.

I could seriously eat glass, just about now! I fuckin’ despite this bullshit; stupid fuckin’ religious propaganda, marinated in cheap-cultural sauce! The grand recipe for Satan’s fuckin’ enema and lubricant, rolled into one.

Stay cool, and remember that Kade will profess bitter fuckin’ contempt for your living room, if you insist on having him over, and then further insist on him watching conservative, religiously cultured garbage with you! The two concepts don’t mix; it’s worse than playing with a toaster while bathing, you crazy fuckers.

Later,
- PissStorm!

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The Vatican, and its latent wind of common sense!

…What progress this beautiful world is making. Finally, and I mean it, finally, the Vatican is reconsidering its own stupefied stance on that satanic incarnation of vulcanised rubber, the condom. I guess the religion choked psychological gears finally managed to budge a couple of degrees and some common sense prevailed.

Congratulations to the orthodox branch of Catholicism; it’s dropped in rank on Storm's list ‘o’ crazy dogmas. Oh, but look, it’s climbed right back for ascertaining a fundamental, and essential fragment of modern sense that virtually every other dogma gleaned a good while early.

“Vatican reviews policy on condoms” - CNN.Com.

“About fuckin’ time, you slow idiots; but good on ya!” - Closure.

Additionaly, this is not a scathe at catholics; I have little against them. It's just that, well, perhaps I'll quote a bit of Bill Hicks. "Sorry if anyone here is Catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended; I'm actually sorry for just the fact that you're Catholic." (Bill Hicks, Rants in E-Minor)

Stay cool, and use protection, you horny fuckers.

Later,
Kade

Monday, April 24, 2006

...fauxy!

Today’s piece is rather interesting. You see, fuckers, I’ve been watching many of my pro-humanity colleagues, and even old friends living in the United States, ranting on and on about the journalistic absurdity that is Fox News - or as they like to call it, Faux News. Now, I’ve watched Faux err, Fox News in the past; I just never got subjected to the channel at that level as most of the American residents. Therefore, just for the kicks, and the challenge, I decided to actually watch Faux news… err Fox News, rather than restricting myself to the O’ Reilly Factor, which I do for the mere kicks.

I have to be honest, the first couple of days were just hilarious; I actually derived good laughs from hearing the blatantly passive partisan commentaries, poorly packaged in a see-through gift-wrapping of professional, and neutral journalism. It’s really, amusing to watch a child play pretend, in the same respect it’s amusing to watch a political propaganda of a news channel, also play pretend.

Now, by the third-day, I actually found myself watering in the eyes, and completely loosing my perspective on reality. Others started noticing strange anomalies in my behaviour; some claimed that I was getting edgy; agitated; disoriented; snapping at random intervals. Fuck, if I was just a few more notches to the edge, I’d be clinically psychotic; whatever. I also realised that I was getting very irritated with Fox News, and was tempted to refer to it as Faux News, because it sounded more like a televised archive of editorial columns as opposed to actual, neutral news reporting.

“To my American friends - I am so sorry for not empathising more profoundly. I have learnt my lesson, first hand; I have endured the misery that you’ve all dubbed as Faux News, and I am in full agreement with this moniker.” - Immediate contention.

I had no idea, and the last exposure to Faux had me choking on the implications, or rather, ignorance of the implications of America’s international policies. War or no war, I know for a fact that some of these people, who rant about how Iraq’s latest political stability, is a premonition towards the security of the Americans, are nothing more than ignorant fucks, or just blatant deceivers, blowing lethal amounts of methane from their rear ends. Now, seriously, dudes, I fuckin’ hate theocracies; therefore, I still hate Iraq; it follows the same bill that had people like Abdul Rahman suffering in Afghanistan. So, I am really sorry, Americans, Iraq’s a political morass, and that’s just speaking on a strictly governmental stand-point; I don’t even wanna’ get into the social state of things. That country was officially downgraded from an autocratic, secular train wreck -- albeit, under the leadership of an immoral scum -- into a theocratic mush, which is destined for nothing short of transforming into a fuckin’ officious, Islam-o-fascist mire! And yes, if public persecution isn’t a worry; one has to worry about legal persecutions for exercising essential human rights. Republicans really need to get a reality check on this matter! You’re creating a fuckin’ breeding ground for religious fascism, in lieu of protecting yourselves from that very threat, get it? It’s really not too difficult a concept to comprehend; you just need to wake up from that linear neo-con dream of yours!

The additional point that I personally wanted to touch upon, is even more serious to me in certain respects. You see, I heard some former republican blah -- really, I couldn’t care after I heard what he had to say -- talk about American security, and how this war has improved that very security. What security are you talkin’ about, monkey? The fact that Americans are stereotyped and hated worldwide? Or maybe because I myself face heated contempt for my own American symptoms and passions? Perhaps, because I hear every single cockmuncher, from virtually every corner of this planet, denouncing Americans as a whole, because of their political agenda? Over and above all, because virtually ever American is under threat, while living in the east. Oh yeah, we got a lot of security going for the Americans. Fine, people in Europe just frown upon Americans in general, which is a shame, but still civil. What about all those people in the other, less-hospitable parts of the world, whose lives are under a permanent code-red status; constantly under the threat of fascist-prompted bigotry; the same fascism that is bred by Sharia based constitutions, such as the one in Iraq. This whole ordeal has done nothing more than drag America’s name through the mud, and further endanger the lives of actual, good natured Americans, across the world. Because you know what, when these blood hungry bastards commit their atrocious acts against Western bystanders, they then resort to the role of the apologist, and drag out their nation’s constitutional implications, and how the Sharia demands that they act like motherfuckin’ cocksuckers - justifying their cool-blooded homicides.

“How the fuck can you bastards endorse the same doctrine that serves to promote the endangering of most human beings, including most Americans, across the world! What the fuck is wrong with these people? Iraq is in a downward spiral; constitutions serve towards forging the mindsets of entire nations; and it’s not like the Iraq populace are already the biggest fans of American values, so why not add another officious religious bill into the stew to really get that fanatic nerve going! These morons are further endangering the lives of good Americans, world wide, while making counter claims. This isn’t funny, and this isn’t even faux, anymore! It’s just STUPID FUCKS, tripping on so much denial that it makes them worthy of a massive bitch slap! I am certainly not insinuating that it’s win-win, either way; my beef with faux sprouts from the fact that they’re trying to sell all this Iraqi gibberish as a total win, which is utter bullshit!” - Closure.






Stay cool, and stay aware, you crazy fuckers!

Later,
Kade

Friday, April 21, 2006

...and more trivial news! GAAAH!

So I hear the completely, and utterly useless news about Queen Elizabeth’s birthday. Well, okay; I’m just looking for some real news, and the birthday fell into my lap. I hear that she’s sat down for some one-hundred-and-thirty-nine portraits; I was not amazed.

This pretty much offers a logical explanation for my life-long inquisition into how she manages to retain such a robotically unchanged visage. Seriously, I used to suspect that she was a cyborg or something; each and every wrinkle - the fundamental facial expression, unchanged for over a decade! So yeah, I am not surprised that she’d sit it through a hundred-plus portraits.
I would like to share with you, a sample of my own collection, seeing as I ascribe to the typical profile of a royal family connoisseur.

Starting with my first favourite:


And then of course, this one:


And that one:


Oh yeah! And this one:


This one’s rather interesting:


Bahahahaha! Well then, I think the connotation has finally made its mark; you bastards get the point!

And no, I am not a connoisseur; neither am I a royal family basher. I have no problems with the matter; I just get sick of obsessive people asking me of my thoughts on the matter, when they clearly know that I am not interested in trivial news. I am also somewhat tired of news resources being excessively dedicated to trivial news pieces pertaining to any family. Wanna’ discuss Nepal’s civil crisis - now you’re talkin’! That’s one royalty that I’d like to analyse. So yeah, whatever!

Well, since I did make the post, I might as well make my peace. Here's a jolly one to ya', oh queen! Wish I was your royal subject; instead, and much to my distaste, I'm subject of a world of racist, bigoted, narrow-minded morons. So I think the readers can understand how much value I assign to being a British royal subject; the implication's what matters most, but here's to the queen!

"May Jesus, Satan, Super-Giant Hindu Monkey Gods, Buddha, and whatnot else, save and bring joy to the queen!" - Warm regards from the wannabe royal subject!

-Th
ese are sincere wishes, doused in cheap humour, so don't get started on my case!-

And to the religious folks; no disrespect intended. I just tend to get a tad bit impulsive.

Stay cool, fuckers.

Cheers,
Kade

Source of the linked protrait:
http://www.portraitpainters.com/

Friday, April 14, 2006

White-person territory? BULL-FUCKIN'-SHIT!

Alrighty. If brain fucking myself wasn’t enough, I end up getting sucked into one of the most linear, asinine debates about the whole immigration crisis in the US. Yes, we’d be speaking of the country that was considered a haven for most, in essence; a country founded on liberty and immigration. No, I don’t wanna’ get into an argument over the legality that drives the conservative contention on the matter; modern-day regulations have made the process practically a hundred times harder - thus the illegal immigrants. I only managed to develop a beef over one particular point of view, which I’ve been hearing for a long time.

“America is the white man’s land!” - Some of these freaks argue; it frightens me to know that such people actually exist in the modern world. Kinda’ like Hitler’s mixed-breed ass, moaning about Aryan supremacy; and let's not get into the true essence of the Aryan race!

You see, now, it’s that kinda’ shit that just forces an opinion out of my generally passive ass! I am just tired to the bone with people who seem to mooch off their skin colour; a trait that the cockmunchers didn’t earn so much as they did, inherit through no fault or effort of their own. However, all this contempt is moot, anyway, because in the realm of solid intelligence and critical thinking, ethnic stereotyping can only be considered relevant for the occasional profiling in times of chaos.

Saying that a certain land is white-man’s land; or brown-man’s land, is fuckin’ stupid, and perpetuating that stupefying notion is an even bigger cause for shame. So I got certain kinda’ ethnic blood in me; does that mean I am destined to behave in conference with the ethnic culture? Fuck no! I behave like an uncultured, poorly mannered loon, with no religious dogmas or officious bonds--I don’t need some whinny, high school punk, telling me where I belong. I belong based on my social and cultural values; not the colour of my skin - this was America, folks; a land where people realised a free ideology as opposed to being pigeonholed - categorised - limited - stereotyped. So yeah, to see actual Americans moan about colorized elitist logic and demanding dibs on a land that was founded on true tenets of freedom, is but stomach turning to begin with.

Your fuckin’ skin colour, means shit to me! Seriously, it means shit to me! I know an ethnically pure German family, who’re staunch Moslems. Their kid, who looked like a German adolescent, went onto grow a beard, and began ranting on and on about the greatness of Islam, which would piss the listeners off to no end. “Oh doi! But he’s white! He should be in America!” some extremely dumb fucks might argue, and if he should be, then I hope he moves right next door to one of these cocksuckers, so he can impose his religious dogmas on them, daily. Trust me, he isn't gonna' be gettin' along with a majority of his neighbours in the land of the free.

“Yeah, so each of these racist fucks can realise that one’s psychological conditioning and culturing determines whether or not they belong in a certain environment, more so than the colour of their skin, within the same general race. Because, oh fuck, news flash, fuckers! WE’RE ALL FUCKIN’ HUMAN! We can breed together, we have the same chromosome count -- though I am starting to doubt the count for these twits suffering from racial myopia -- and we share the same human genome! This is just getting fuckin’ retarded! Because some of these racists are now justifying their racial-supremacy ideals through a twisted analogous version of social ecology! We’re different members of the same fuckin’ species! It‘s just the bigoted morons who‘ve decided to mark sub-sects within this species, which is still the same fuckin' species to begin wtih, you stupid fuckin’ numb-nuts!” - Urgent bitch!

[Another Southpark Storm venture, powered by the awesome, Southpark Studio.]

Damn, it felt good to get that out of my system, because I’ll be damned if some snot-nosed twit, who hasn’t experienced an ounce of struggle because of his race, goes on to determine where each race belongs. No one should get to determine another’s place based on race, especially not someone who hasn’t even earned his own place or colours to begin with.

“Oh, but Kade! Cut ‘em some slack; most of humanity cannot express an actual opinion without resorting to poor choice of words. You were most probably misled! These supremacists -- as you might view them to be -- must be referring to those that plan on parasitically growing their own culture into the neutral and free American spirit.” - Critique.

Yes, I fuckin’ get it, hotshot! After all, I was the one complaining about all these British Islamists who’d moan against British culture and values. However, you don’t see me despising them for their colour; I despise them for their need to impose their values onto others, especially when they have the invaluable luxury of residing in a country that thrives on breathing space for all, and no real culture or dogmas being imposed--that should be my haven, damn it! You see, that doesn’t mean that Britain is a white person’s land; it simply means that it’s a land for the relatively passive individuals, and freedom loving secularists - it says nothing about the skin colour.

In a similar respect, I believe America is a domain for individuals who can appreciate true American values and spirit; this isn’t something exclusive to the white skins, and there’s millions, who’re living proof of my contention, myself included. In terms of regard for personal and civil liberties, I am more libertarian than most Americans, even, so hah!
"I despise these enemies of western humanism and secularity, because of their own officious spirit and barbaric culture. I only resort to grouping people, when dealing with a twisted, vicious, and perverted ideological quirk, which can come in any skin-tone; any gender; any costume--I group them according to a sick, common-mentality." - The sound, but blunt logic.

This not about racist agendas; and here’s the interesting thing; quite a few of the people bringing up the complaints against racial implications in the protest over the immigration bill, are in fact, the supremacists who desire their states to be exclusive to whites, especially in the context of political power and stroke. Sure, they have a right to their opinion, but if such people start determining the ways of the world, we’re all royally fucked; white folks included. These people are not much different from the psychotic theocrats sitting in the Islamic dictatorships; they’re only loyal to a different colour and ideology, that is all. Many of the apologists of this sick ideology say that the immigrants should go back to their homelands and fix the issues.

“How the fuck do you fix decades of social, and economic backlog? Eh? C’mon, genius! If your Einstein ass is so adamant on changing entire group psychologies, then YOU move over and dedicate multiple generations of painstaking effort into such reform. Try dedicating your closet existential life to something that you’ll never even fully realise in your own lifespan! Yeah, easier said than done! Very easy to point the finger, but not to offer a proper helping hand. I am really tired of these morons, and their asinine rhetoric! You wanna’ determine what does and does not belong in America? Then stop bitching about races, and start dumping out these supremacists and ideological bigots, who’re the exact same thing the original American values set out to denounce with a passion. Fight the enemies of the values, rather than the skin colour of random motherfuckers! This goes for both sides of the spectrum; those that wanna’ impose their foreign dogmas; and those that wanna’ homogenise the US spirit under one exclusive race. As for my stance on the bill - fuck you; I am so outta' this! It's become exactly what it was destined to become: A hotbed for controversy and subtle, political agendas.” - Closure.

Why the fuck do I get into these things!? Anyway, stay cool, and stay enlightened, you crazy fuckers!

Cheers,
Kade

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Video Game Otakus: Dedicated to the destruction of casual gaming!

“This is a copy of Armored Core: Forumla Front, and as an avid Formula Front fan, who thinks quality games are lacking on the PSP, I think this is lame!” -- A videogame otaku, ranting about a certain game.

...and as an avid observer, JSOUL, I will say that you're nothing more than a philistine. Yes, personal attacks aside. What’s wrong in having another mech simulator? Moreover, no, it's not like Armored Core - technically; the original title was released in 1995 - well before the first Armored Core title on the beloved PSone. However, that’s just evading the point, anyway. Question remains: So what? Can’t you enjoy a good thing, even if it is duplication of the prior essence? Must you ejaculate an entire bucket of hate-ridden mucus at the sight of something that can be critiqued? Was there some kinda’ secret society amongst gamers to officially destroy the casual aspect of gaming through butt-clenching moans about the pettiest of details? Please, spare me the destruction and hypocrisy; you guys defeat the entire concept of ‘gaming’ in any form; be it a sport, or an electronic-entertainment concept.

Quite frankly, I couldn't care if one game was a copy of another, because then I have two interesting titles with a similar concept to meddle around with. I would consider this good news; however, I think I understand why videogame developers shy from using the same wheel and redecorating it into something equally meaningful thanks to the reaction of the modern-day otakus and their very baseless whining.

"OWAAAH! OWAAAH! IT'S THE SAME! MOMMY, MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! OWAAAH!"

This was my bitch of the day, about a subject matter that I usually dodge opinions on; I know very little shit about true videogame critiquing, so yeah!

Now, a connoisseur friend of mine, tried to offer some logical perspective on the matter. Of course, being the good-natured sap that he is, he tried to defend the otaku’s stance in theory. Mind you, fuckers, this is the same guy that I keep referring to as the philosopher, and he didn’t have any stakes in the otaku’s opinions; he’s just on a secret mission to keep my subjective contempt in check; y’know how it is with Storm - always blowin’ his stack over trivial shit! So the philosopher stepped in and told me that the kid was probably critiquing the game-mechanics, but without much knowledge and with poor-wording. Now, while I agree, that with most titles, physical mechanics can be the most defining aspect; this is not an axiom for all genres, because turn-based-strategy titles, and even most traditional role-play titles, follow a very generic mechanic; the actual essence of the game is built around the layers of story - setting - aura that is forged onto the mechanics.

A videogame -- especially of this genre -- isn’t just comprised and defined by its engine; otherwise, most generic RPGs could be considered lame for copying one another. Just for your information; this is a turn-based-strategy title, where you actually design a killing-machine, design its artificial-intelligence (AI), and then release it into a match, where you don’t literally control the unit; instead, your AI-architectural skills determine how the autonomous AI would react. Therefore, in this title, the game mechanics are merely one factor in a rather hefty combination. This kind of blatant ignorance and pointless whining is going against what? An element that we’d welcome. Copy or not, it’s a good element! Another title worth trying for the PSP! It’s like getting sex with the additional foreplay, and occasional twists! And mind you, in the case of this game, it’ll probably have a different story, in an entirely different setting; effectively transforming the overall feel and impact that the title would have, with a pinch of an element that even the aforementioned otaku-ala-hypocrite would actually enjoy. Thus, your final product, which would be much different; only a superficial, and exceptionally unintelligent dolt, would find his/herself obscured by the game mechanics, alone, in this case. Then again, by reading some of these recent opinions, I am really starting to believe in the possibility of exceptionally new standards in myopic stupidity.

Indeed this is the curse of a stagnating games market:

You don't get good games - you complain.

You get a potentially good game, which might have similar elements to another title you've enjoyed greatly because of THOSE very elements - you once again, complain and dub the concept ‘lame’; pretty much contradicting your taste and diminishing the respective developer's direction. If it’s really that great a concept, then ask yourself this: Why not have it redone and repackaged as something else?

...consumers, my friends, are turning lame.

Stay cool, and stay away from the notion of miring recreational, and generally escapist concepts with excessive critique, and petty nitpicking; it is this kinda’ shit that most of us are attempting to escape in the first place, and by revelling in details, we’re creating a paradox.

Cheers,
Kade

A little Southpark rendition of what goes down between myself and the philosopher, Sonic X; skit was only made possible through the awesome powers of the Southpark Studio.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Aggressive boss Chavez, denounces any kind of aggression!

"I'm going to throw you out of Venezuela if you continue provoking the Venezuelan people." Said Venezuelan president, Hugo Chavez, during a public address, directing his scathe towards the American Ambassador.

Woah! Dude! C’mon! Where’s all that leftist progression that I keep hearin’ about?

[Chavez condemned the crowd of protesters for pelting U.S. Ambassador William Brownfield's car with eggs and tomatoes, saying his government “rejects any kind of aggression.”]- CNN.com.
Oh, right! There it is; thought I was loosing my mind there for a moment. A so-called socialist hero, behaving like… hey! What gives? This is a contradiction! The dude condemns ‘any kind’ of aggression, right before blatantly threatening the US Ambassador, and telling him that he’ll throw him out if he provokes the Venezuelan people; interesting, yet subtly bold brand of hypocrisy. What the fuck, man? So in all probability, blatantly condemning the ambassador in a public address, and sending chastising contentions on throwing him out, almost as though he’s a fuckin’ child, doesn‘t fall under any kind of aggression.

I’m sorry, fuckers, but I heard the address; the translation sounded fuckin’ hilarious, but unfortunately, it wasn’t my evening sitcom, it was an actual public address, and it sounded aggressive. Oh, and what was all the testosterone sewage being spewed for? Take a look at the following quote, courtesy of CNN.com.


[In the incident Friday, Chavez said Brownfield failed to advise the
local mayor's office or the foreign ministry of his travel plans.] - CNN.com
“Those evil, evil, eeevul dips! Always prancing about without informing authorities about their itinerary; the nerve.” - Immediate sarcasm.

“Mister, mister… that big bad ambassador is provoking me by casually moving through my district in his car!” -- For fuck’s sake people, is this a country we’re talking about, or in fact, some kind of nation-sized, twisted asylum? So this is the act that had Chavez virtually taunting the American ambassador like some kinda’ child who’d knocked a ball through Hugo’s bedroom window. This, was the big bad provocation; please, don’t fuckin’ kid me. Oh, and don’t let this little opinion digress from the real issue; Mister Chavez very openly denounced any kind of aggression - yet he chose to get all godfather-like on the American ambassador during his public address.

“Nyaa! You mess with my people, see! Nyaa! I’m gonna’ toss you out on your keister, nya! You fondle around my back yard, and mess with my people? I’ll toss your bovine-bum, outta’ here, nya! I reject any kind of aggression, nya! You’ve been a raunchy lil’ brat, nyaa! I’ll kick you out, nyaa! Oops, contradiction, nya!?” - Closure, and mockery on the matter.

Please, I have no axe to grind with Chavez; however, I am just getting a tad bit tired of the covert duplicity that has become mandatory practice for most political heads, these days. Fact remains; when you make the public contention of rejecting any kind of aggression, you then put some kind of effort into monitoring the verbal aggression slipping from your own tainted lips! It’s just not the thing to do in the political field; politicians are supposed to be more deceitful than that; Chav, dude, you disappoint me!



Oh, fuckin' hell... I have most certainly fucked any chance I ever had of escaping to Venezuela! Damn!

Stay cool, fuckers.

Cheers,
Kade

Link to actual article, riddled with critique-free political-correctness.

Monday, April 10, 2006

The Stampede

The freakish piece of news, today:
A child was heard screaming; when someone went over to help her, a massive stampede ensued leaving around twenty-six, dead, and over seventy, substantially injured from the fray. Of course, this took place in Karachi, Pakistan, during the celebration of the birth of their prophet, Mohammed (For more information, go to CNN.com’s coverage of the news).

"Oh, golly, Storm! So does this mean Mohammed's an Aries?" some fuckwits might question, and all I gotta' say is that such ignorance borders on being downright scary. Just shut up about the horoscopes; I couldn't give a shit about the Zodiac signs, so just shut it; the point is being evaded.

Now, I am not being a rhetorical bastard; I want real answers. How the fuck does a stampede ensue? How the fuck do these idiots -- over a child falling/screaming/tossing about, and another woman offering help -- go all ape-shit like a bunch of lobotomised bulls, high on viagra. Why do people insist on miring actual religious gatherings in the name of grand prosperity, by endorsing potentially fatal and chaotic gatherings to begin with? Stampede… shit! This is the kind of stupefying bafflement, committed by animals.

Is it not possible to achieve an actual religious-ceremony in these regions, without inciting a subhuman brand of erratic hysteria? Pfft, certain things are beyond the realm of possibility, at the moment; let’s not forget - this is the same kind of populace that believes that heathens, pagans, and apostates deserve to die for their beliefs. Therefore, I think it does make sense; stupid fucks think that Abdul Rahman should be executed for converting to Christianity; similar brand of idiots go into an animalistic frenzy over a child screaming and another hunching over to offer help, causing massive stampede, and costing the lives of about thirty women and children - pathetic.

Besides, just imagine a stampede of beings, doused in that obnoxious attire of long-black, full-body covering cloaks - daunting!

…creepy. Alrighty; bad jokes and horrid imaginary thoughts aside!

Y’know what; gatherings should be spared for the remotely intelligent; having opposable thumbs, doesn’t justify one to prance about with the IQ of an amoeba.
…stay normal, or get normalised, if the concept’s still new, you crazy fuckers.

- Kade

Friday, April 07, 2006

Being an uptight prick!

I’ve been receiving some grilling recently - no, shut up - I mean grilling on a particular matter, not grilling in general, because that is a common occurrence when it comes to my existence, of course. So I got grilled recently, by a friend, over a joke; he thought I got too prickly over a joke about Sharia law. However, this was just the tip of the iceberg, as up until the recent couple of days, another online friend o’ mine also noticed my agitated response to another joke regarding Sharia law and the Al-Queeda.

You see, a bunch of us folks on this hidden forum - not really hidden, but I am not telling - were joking about shit, when one of the sharp lil’ younglings came up with an idea about a new cereal, which would be called, Al-Qaeda Krunch! Yes, a cereal crisp, specially crafted into caricatures of top Al-Qaeda monkeys in expressions of agony as the modern-day zealots spitefully consume their toon-mocks. Now, my immediate response was a cringe, followed by an outburst; I had totally missed the point, because there’s little humour that I can derive from the mention of these cocksuckers, known as Al-Qaeda, or for that matter, any of their extremist counterparts. And just when my reaction was simmering down, another dude who reads this blog, by the way, decided that we should create the Sharia Krunch; this is when I seriously lost it; I probably blew out a dozen fuses in my head, but it was all good.

I would like to offer a humble apology, I think I have suppressed my ability to enjoy a good thing; passion and hatred can often consume, especially when it’s passionate-hatred that we’re forced to cope with. I was being uptight towards both parties, even telling one of ‘em to never joke about such issues. I acknowledge that I was being a stuck-up prick, and there’s no excuse that I can make for that, other than attributing the folly to my own blundering powers of anger management. Now acknowledging that flaw, I will also go on to appreciate the humour, and offer some realistic critique, because people, I did find one little hole in the entire notion.

I can see the humour over Osama Bin Laden, in the form of a fuckin’ crisp, being devoured - I myself would never put his disgusting caricature in my mouth, however, but I can identify the humour. Al-Qaeda Krunch - yeah, even has a dandy ring to it; I’m laughing as we speak. But Sharia Krunch? Nah! I am not being a touchy prick on the matter; I really don’t think Sharia would make a good Krunch spin-off. You see, why aim for one type of product, when you can effectively have two? You see where I’m goin’ with this? Hell yeah! Sharia the toilet paper - it’s like wiping your ass with a thousand year’s worth of inhumanity, responsible for destroying the mentality and intellectual fortitude of almost an entire race of people. Now that makes sense. Al-Qaeda Krunch for the bowel movement, and Sharia TP for your bunghole!

“I think Beavis will really heart that one! Bahaha! TP for us all?” -- Immediate thoughts.

You see, in closing I will take one more serious pot-shot. I read on many of the primary news websites that many Afghan clerics had protested Abdul Rahman’s release, obviously. I had also read news about many of them, writing letters to the Afghan government, insisting that the west be kept from interfering with their way of life.

“So let me ask you closet-sodomites this: What the fuck, exactly, is your way of life? Murdering someone for exercising his or her human rights? Killing a given man for exercising his freewill and utilising his right to choice? So you don’t want the west to basically stop you murdering cocksuckers, from perpetuating your barbaric rendition of a murderous paradigm?” -- Rhetorical question, don’t want answers - just want these cocksuckers castrated, right now!

Seriously, folks, we have a substantial bit of the western world, arguing that actual convicts - rapists - killers - mass-murderers - be spared the fate of death; that the death penalty should be abolished. Yet we’re allowing these fanatic-cocksuckers to exist? We’re allowing their filthy abomination of a culture to perpetuate its malignant presence in a world that values human rights - a world that they as a cultural-tribe, cannot, and will not get along with? What the fuck, man! So in this world, as we know it today, you have these bastards, who are killing-off perfectly good, clean individuals, for exercising freewill over their personal lives, under the justification of a culture; meanwhile, rapists, murderers and psychopathic thugs are actually getting the attention of the humanitarians, who insist that they be spared the fate of death. No, I am not trying to get into a pro or anti-death penalty debate… I am not one for celebrating death and vengeance, either. However, allowing a culture, and people, who actually sanction death on other individuals for exercising harmless choice over their personal beliefs and way of life, is fuckin’ sick, and demands immediate attention!

“So these motherfuckin’ pricks don’t want the west to interfere in their ways? Why don’t they fuck themselves with a steel-pike, and then spew blood from their mouths! That west was interfering, much to Rahman’s own consent; and because these savage cocksuckers were interfering in HIS personal choice and rights to hold a harmless and strictly personal belief! These fascist-whores wanna’ denounce the act of interfering? Maybe the crazy sods should learn to fuck off and not interfere in the lives and well being of each individual!” -- More bitter rhetoric.

I decree that the west should interfere, and before abolishing death penalties for actual criminals, it should focus on abolishing the cultural and legally justified death penalties being handed out by these other criminals of humanity, executing innocents for exercising their essential rights. I personally say that advocates of this savagery, should either be neutered, or locked away in a giant satellite and shot off into one of Venus’ Lagrange points.

“Fuck these psychotic cultures! What do you think, oh exalted Beavis?”


Bahahaha! Stay cool, fuckers.

Cheers,
Kade