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Antitheistic. Long. Perplexing. Offensive. Whatever.

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Sunday, February 12, 2006

Struck a reactionary nerve!

Subtitle: The humanist (ala Satanist inc.), the philosopher, and their reactionary Koranik!

Man! My days just keep getting better and better. Just recently, I had a mere meeting with an old friend; hell, it was just a small session to kill time; watch the replay of WWE’s Royal Rumble, which was another bucket of my vomit altogether. Anyhow, while we alleviated the sullen effect of watching wrestling through a somewhat wacky round of Mario Kart on the Nintendo DS, another colleague of mine decided to make his presense known. Yeah, he’s a valuable colleague, but of course, he comes with a wholesome abundance of religious views.

Now for the sake of the argument, I’ll refer to my first friend, the one who came over to play video games and watch wrestling, as the Philosopher because of his somewhat passive ‘agnostic’ view of religion; the other dude, I’ll refer to as the Koranik; a title that best ascribes to his religious bondage with the so-called progressive Islam, but primarily taking only from the book and not the extreme religious doctrines. Yeah, the philosopher, the Satanist, and the Moslem--three fuckin’ monkeys in a barrel--joy!

It was interesting, however. We talked, and talked, and talked some more, until one of my somewhat taunting rhetorical comments managed to sizzle past the sarcasm protection on the Moslem. Suddenly, my antireligious stance was being questioned, while the Philosopher tried to sustain some order with a perpetual stream of critical logic. As always, I couldn’t resist making, what then appeared to be a harmless mockery of the extremist-Moslem reaction to the caricature of Mohammed; our religious guest was very humble, but did chose to assert himself.

This would not be the actual crux of matters, as the discussion would soon move from a consensus on how stupid the reaction was, into blatant questioning of faith; my own included. Of course, offering a cut and dry answer was another issue, so my constant barrage of grey answers was hardly serving towards quelling the ordeal. The philosopher found himself in a similar conundrum; but the funny part is that when we placed the so-called Moslem in the same position, his own answers didn’t quite correlate with the traditional tenets of Islam. Therefore, we chose to, and under friendly terms, dub the young man a Koranik, which was my way of saying, “I acknowledge the sincerity of your faith; but I also acknowledge that you’re not practising the norm per se!” Hey, what the fuck did you bastards expect? I mean the guy said it himself - the extreme reaction to the cartoons was childish; he also happened to believe that the traditional tenets of Islam were certainly outdated, and no longer relevant to the ways of modern times.

All remained civil until we got into a somewhat disoriented argument about the consistency of texts; specifically the so-called “unaltered” status of Koran. I mean, c’mon, man, it’s a given fact that the fundamental drive to the insecure ego of a pretentious Moslem, extremist or otherwise, is their commitment to the belief that their holy book is the -only- pure book left on the face of this planet. These people probably find solace in this belief, which is about the only thing going for them. A relatively conventional Moslem considers the Koran’s unaltered purity, to be an irrefutable fact of nature; this is their scientific premise. Unfortunately, this neurosis effectively robs them of the ability to realise that underneath this blinding naivety, their so-called stock of faith is invested in a mere opinion--a popular opinion at best. Of course, when I say popular opinion, I mean popular within a very esoteric paradigm--the Islamic paradigm.

Now, I wasn’t inclined towards the notion to fuckin’ argue this one, because I am not living in a world where being a canon-whore is about the only past-time one can find; besides, I suck at being a canon-preacher. On the other hand, I did have to bring up the fact that with most ‘metaphysical’ claims, there’s always a whole slew of studies that support the claim, but with that support, there’s almost an equal and opposite contradictory slew of studies and educated opinions. There is no such thing as a perfectly neutral study, because most studies are driven by the goal to justify a certain point of view (Yes, this would be a poor generalisation, but it is somewhat... accurate). Yes, many have declared the Koran to be a mathematical marvel; many have even dubbed it the most perfect piece of literary work, impossible to recreate. Unfortunately, I wasn’t going to sit back and accept that claim as the bottom line; I had to also mention that with those so-called supporting ‘claims’ there are also relatively well honed ‘counter claims,’ which also carry weight. Furthermore, I reiterated my own statement by adding that these retorts, albeit educated ones, were still ‘claims.’

“*Sighs*…here we go,” -- The proverbial voice inside the head of the philosopher.
“Oh, shit, man! Now you’ve done it!” -- Said the voice inside my head.
“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! IT IS FACT! IT IS FACT!” -- The mantra that would soon follow.
“Kade, shut up… you fool! don’t respond!” -- The philosopher secretly murmurs under his breath.
“There’s a lot of people who offer somewhat calculated claims for and against that logic, which is about the only ongoing fact!” -- My unwise, but correct response.
“No, you idiot!” -- The philosopher’s final thoughts before intervention would become constant.

At this point, all rational rapport had gone out the window; every time I stated that these so-called ‘facts’ were just partisan claims, and had their equal opposites, it would be like as though I had driven a knife through the Koranik's abdomen; and with every reiteration, I was turning that knife. His reactions weren’t subtle, so it wasn’t hard to realise that he was in fact, feeling scathed by mere verbal claims of facts that challenge the literary architecture of his somewhat flawed beliefs. It proved to me now that even within the community of progressive Islamic thinkers, there’s still too much of a reactionary element. The guy even went onto talk about how the literary works are by ‘fact,’ the most poetic and beautiful executions in history. Now, once again, I was forced to respond, by dissecting and distinguishing the two prongs of his argument. First he argued mathematical/scientific architecture, then he argued poetic beauty; the latter of these two ‘claims’ isn’t even something that can be empirically measured or evaluated. I explained how the so called ‘poetic’ beauty is not any scientific equation's call, and can only be evaluated by the subjective interpretation of each individual that interacts with the given piece of work. No math equation can determine poetic perfection, and that’s that! Y'know, an immeasurable emotional response that is evoked.

“One man’s wine!--Another man’s poison!” -- I say, and I know I didn’t get that phrase right, so fuck you!

My critique of the second part of his rant, which was effectively simplifying two very distinct prongs in his own argument, didn’t go over too well either, because apparently, he was still too engulfed in the activity of touting his primal phrase, which went something like, “NO! NO! NO! NO! IT IS FACT!” all this whilst chopping one of his hands with the other. The physical reaction... the chopping; the fluctuating tone; the throat lumps, man, they got me thinking! I do feel sorry for how badly and abusively this lot of people are beaten into their beliefs; they completely lack the skin or confidence to face disagreement; so much for the spiritual fortitude.

I mean, I didn’t exactly contradict the appendix of supporting claims made by this Koranik bloke; however, I did stand by the conviction that nothing is the bottom line, especially when equally credible refuting thesis comes to light. Over and above all, another question was thumping in the back of my mind, one that would affirm a point that I had made ages ago during one of my rants against a conservative Islamic article. If one were to ignore the fact these are nothing more than speculated claims; if one were to believe that the Koran were some ultra perfect book, and poetic work of art, then the question does beg for an answer... Why are its followers probably at odds with virtually everything, down to defiling their own virtues in light of more zealous protocols taking greater priority? If it is -that- damn perfect, why are most of its followers caught up in customary bondage; suffering; violence, or other dismays? Before I could even organise the rhetoric in my dyslexia-ridden mind, I heard the following phrase, which felt like true poetry in motion!

“Alright! Fine, it’s perfect… So what?” said the philosopher as the room fell into a damp silence, defied only with my faint cynical snickering, reverberating from the corner of the chamber.

Y’know, what, fuckers - that one line alone is more mathematical and poetic beauty than any number of profound philosophical mantras. It’s simple, it’s short! It sounds great, it feels great! It just kicks ass! And what do you know? It’s probably a very potent rhetorical question. Ponder this one, and as always, continue pondering!

Stay cool, fuckers.


1 comment:

Sphinx said...

interesting blog