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Logo by Julian Spanos

Antitheistic. Long. Perplexing. Offensive. Whatever.

Warning: This blog does not cater to your whims. If you are offended, then I am not obliged to care. It ain't personal until otherwise stated.

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Saturday, February 18, 2006

Bastard of the day!

“Off to find the eternal twit who would fit into the long lineage of fucktard bigots! And just a minute into CNN we’ve found our waste of human reproduction essentials!” -- The blunt introduction.

Excerpt from CNN.Com.
Maulana Yousef Qureshi said he personally had offered to pay a bounty of 500,000 rupees ($8,400) during Friday prayers, and two of his congregation put up additional rewards of $1 million and one million rupees plus a car.

Ladies and gentlemen, our mother-fucking bastard of the day, Yousef Quershi.

“DUH ME NO LIKE! ME PRETENTIOUS MOMMY TOUCHER! ME MUST GET LIMP DICK HORNY WITH MURDER SANCTIONING! MURDER TURN ME ON!” -- Personal statement from the fascist bitch known to the world under the moniker of Maulana Yousef Qureshi, though Kade would much rather refer to him as ‘Motherfuckin’ Cocksucker!’

With people like Yousef Qureshi, taking up the natural oxygen of this planet, and moving around with a nutsack, we’re effectively allowing a plague to fester. As long as bigotry breeding whores like this fat lump of horse shit are allowed to consume the depleting quality oxygen of this planet, and actually move around with their reproductive organs intact, we’re allowing the rape of humanity as a whole to continue. This needs to stop! This bastard should be fuckin’ neutered without anaesthesia; his seed and legacy left to shrivel into a meaningless oblivion. I’ve finally realised unconditional and personal hate for someone who isn’t dead yet; this should be a healthy redistribution of my demonic contempt. This fuckin’ prick thinks he can hand out bounties? I’ll best the sodomite! He’ll be shitting out holy verses in faecal form after the slimy fragments of his meagre brain matter attempt to fathom the following proposition.

I hereby decree that an unorthodox bounty has been placed on Yousef Qureshi’s head; however, I want him to experience mortal agony, not death. I will pay anyone ten-grand (10,000) worth of US dollars if they kidnap this motherfucker and subject his religiously raunchy ass to my protocol of heathen torture. Kidnap this sordid twat; take him to a dark room; tie his fat ass down; put on some loud heavy metal music and beat his ribcage into a pile with a steel baseball bat. After the preliminaries are over, and yes, we just touched on the preliminaries; the aspiring bounty collectors should then gather an oil-truck’s worth of cow manure; also getting copy of the Koran, because it’ll serve as a linchpin with the dung in more ways than one.

For the main body and climax, the torturers should slap the motherfucker awake with the Koran, before reciting every line, every bit of the staunchly articulate Arabic phonetics found in that book. “Oh, but that might please him!” some of you must be thinking, but wrong; because with every line of the book, a whole tablespoon-full of cow shit should be jammed into this motherfucker’s mouth. Break his fuckin’ teeth in if he resists. He should be forced to swallow the excrement, cap his mouth and punch his fuckin’ oesophagus if you must, but get him to swallow each lump of the cow shit. Maintain this approach of Koranik line recital followed by spoon full of cow dung until one of the two run out, that is, the lines in the book, or the oil-truck’s worth of cow dung. That fundamentalist rut should experience his book in a whole new way, coupled with the taste of cow excretion.

“Hell yeah! I want this motherfucker so horribly conditioned, that every time he turns to look at a Koran, his jaw shivers with the associated taste of cow shit, effectively making the fuckin’ slob throw up his lungs and guts like some fuckin’ bulimia-ridden whore from a desolate fashion nightmare! That sick bastard shouldn’t be able to contain his fuckin’ entrails within the confines of his tubby ass whilst being in the presence of a Koran--that’s how traumatised his conditioning should be!” -- Objective of the torture bounty, and my own twisted take on behavioural therapy.

Upon interaction with phonetic stimuli of the Arabic nature, a portion of Yousef Qureshi’s unconscious thought process should read:
“Koranik recitation + me = Cow shit, INSIDE ME! = ICK! IT TASTE WORSE THAN ME! IT TASTE BAD! = DUH! ME WANT TO VOMIT!”

Yeah, I wanna’ enjoy the prospects of this religious fuck, choking on cow shit and then being reminded of it eternally, never being able to keep his stomach while in close range of his holy book, or even keeping his guts in place while being in the remote listening range of one of its Arabic maxims of doom. The fucker might not even know what most of it means, but his stomach will surely amplify the simple message of negative association. He should feel nauseous at the mention of the Koran; he should regurgitate a fuckin’ river of crud upon hearing just pure Arabic.

That bastard should be incapacitated due to malnourishment after enduring this disgustingly crafty torture therapy!

“You put a bounty on the heads of those that utilise free speech to their whims? I’ll stuff your fat ass with an omega bounty worth of cow shit! You cockeyed fuck!” -- My final thoughts for the officious, Motherfukin' Cocksucker.

Stay cool, fuckers.

Cheers,
Kade

Link to article containing the Motherfuckin’ Cocksucker’s contention: (Fat, wha? Fat, WHA?)
http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/02/17/pakistan.cartoons/index.html

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